I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
