out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
