i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
