How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize