she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
