If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
