Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
