Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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