did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
