I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
