Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
