do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
