I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize