New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
