I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
