We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
