How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
