Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The adults are the big ones right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
