Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
