I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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