it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
