Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
