I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
