we have officially lost it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
