I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
