Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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