She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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