Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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