tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
