is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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