we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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