She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
