end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
