This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
