They should really pass out barf bags in church
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
