I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
