It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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