dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
