On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
