I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
