You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's never too late to be topless.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize