she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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