yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
