Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
