Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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