No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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