So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
