you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
