i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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