My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
