will power is for people who don't want to get laid
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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