How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
