Im at strip club and am horny
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
