Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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