where am i from again
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
