It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
