i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
