You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
