No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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