I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
