Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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