All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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