So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
