Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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