you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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