Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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