Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it was like eating out sand paper
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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