Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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