someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
