Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
