so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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